I'm Back - Did Anyone Miss Me At All? (don't say it ok)

Handpicked Trailer



This is one bad-assed kick-in-the-groin coming-of-age in-the-vein-of-american-pie type of flick

Check Out This Cool Commercial


Now who be da playa...?

Now..the Jokes

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN LAW BUT AREN'T:

10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

And the number 1 thing in law that sounds dirty but isn't:
1. Think you can get me off?

Another One
TOP TEN THINGS IN GOLF THAT SOUNDS DIRTY BUT ISN'T
10. Nuts...my shaft is bent
9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker
7. Look at the size of his putter
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with you back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired

And the number 1 thing in golf that sounds dirty but isn't:
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first

TODAY'S MENU

Joke#1

Haven't The Foggiest

One night, while tending bar, the bartender notices this hideous looking fella at the far end of the bar with several hot women around him. Finally, the bartender's curiosity gets the best of him, and he walks down to where the ugly man is. The bartender says, "Please don't get offended when I tell you this, but I couldn't help noticing you have several beautiful women hanging all over you, and, forgive me, but you are not exactly the most handsome person I've ever seen. In fact, you're quite ugly. Now, normally, I would think these ladies are attracted to you because of your money, but I can tell by the way you're dressed and the fact that they are buying YOU drinks, it's not the money. Tell me, sir, what is it about you that these women are so crazy about?"The man paused a moment, licked his eyebrows, and said, "I haven't the foggiest idea."

Joke#2
Seeing Eye Dog
A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day.They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man right out into the thick of traffic.This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket which he offers to the dog.A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick him in the ass."



Pics Of the Day





hell hath no fury...


Wisdom On-The-Fly
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive

Today's Menu

Clip of the Day

I know it's a bit long - but it's actually a short documentary
on great commercials....a 9-min of chuckles
Why not?


Movie Lookout


Steve Carrel, Morgan Freeman, the gorgeous Lauren Graham..what's not to like?
...Thou must not miss this movie...

Today's Menu - Welcome My New Friends

Jokes

Car Names Explained!

AUDI - Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW - Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Bimbette Motor Weapon
Break My Window

BUICK - Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET - Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cheap Heap, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Condition Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology

DODGE - Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
Dead or Dying Gas Eater
Dear Old Dad's Geriatric Express

FIAT - Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!

FORD - First On Recall Day
First On Race Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of R&D
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
Found On Rubbish Dump

GM - General Maintenance
Great Mistake

GMC- Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?

HONDA - Had One Never Did Again

HYUNDAI - Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive...

MAZDA - Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE - Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everywhere
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

PINTO - put in new transmission often

PONTIAC - poor old Neanderthal thinks its a Cadillac

SAAB - Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sorry Arsed Auto Builders

TOYOTA - Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO - Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Vehicles Of Low Velocity Owners

VW - Virtually Worthless

Pic of the Day


Thanks to the manufacturer, now I know how to wear a hat

Wisdom On the Fly

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research